The asshole is still being an asshole. Now he's saying he's not going to sign the divorce papers. Not only that...he's calling me every 5 minutes, stopping by the house for no reason, begging for a sexond chance, and asking 15 million questions about what's going on with me and Scott. I don't give a shit that we're still married, I stopped being his wife the day he betrayed me. I tried, I really did...I tried to forgive him, but I can't. I'm done.
His latest tactic is crying. Like I'm supposed to care...I distinctly remember him not giving a damn about me crying when I found out I was pregnant again. He's acting like an ass, and he's taking it out on Jacen to get to me. I don't want to keep him away from her, but keep this shit up and I will do what I have to do.
Now back to Scott. I love him. It's that simple. I love him as a friend, but it's so much more than that. He says I've always been the one for him...I'm starting to see that. I have no reason to let him slip through my fingers again, and he won't allow himself to...so why not? He's the one who has always been there for me no matter what.
I think I'm scared of giving someone that kind of power again. Scott is one of the few people in the world I love and trust unconditionally. Kevin hurt me, yes...but I'll get over it, hell...I am over it. But Scott, he has the power to do a lot more damage...the kind of damage I might not ever be able to recover from. I know that sounds like dwelling on the bad, but you have to think about those things. That's not to say I won't give it a shot...I just have to be very cautious about it.
8:44 p.m. - 2004-05-19
Recent entries:
Goodbye Diaryland. - 2005-03-24
Happy Birthday Asha! - 2005-03-21
Six Fucking Hours! - 2005-03-13
My Baby Shower: Chock Full O' Debauchery - 2005-03-06
Peanut Butter Saves Lives! - 2005-03-02
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