Have I ever told you guys about my mother-in-law Pascale? Well, she's great. She's a MILF, she's in her 50's, she has amazing fashion sense, and in all the years I've known her I don't think I've ever seen her without a drink in her hand. ..she's the woman I aspire to be when I'm her age.
What makes Pascale even more special is that she has this crazy accent like the Merovingian (if you're seen Matrix Reloaded you know what I'm talking about). Said accent really comes out when she's drunk. My darling Pascale is also hilarious when she's been hitting the sauce.
So the other night she calls me around 4 in the morning (she's a fellow insomniac) and we start our usual fashion talk. So I show her this gown I ordered from Neiman Marcus and she goes "Oh my god! Darling if I were a man I'd rip that off of you!". Oh Pascale, I love you.
While talking to Pascale, I get a stroke a genius and say "Hey, wanna go to IHOP?". But wait, there's a problem...she's too drunk to drive, and I can't drive because the evil ob-gyn says so. So I end up calling our fellow insomniac...my dad. So Larry, Pascale, and I end up at IHOP at 4:30 in the morning.
We should go on Surreal Life for non-famous people because really, this shit was the most entertaining thing I've seen in years. Pascale kept questioning the waitress about why IHOP didn't have martinis or at least some wine (because who the hell eats a meal without wine?)...then she talked to the manager and suggested that they start serving it. Then she berated them about their lack of real cheese and bread. All during which my dad is sitting there cutting through pancakes with the skill of a surgeon...and my face is beet red from trying not to laugh my ass off.
Good times I tell you, good times.
1:30 a.m. - 2005-02-20
Recent entries:
Goodbye Diaryland. - 2005-03-24
Happy Birthday Asha! - 2005-03-21
Six Fucking Hours! - 2005-03-13
My Baby Shower: Chock Full O' Debauchery - 2005-03-06
Peanut Butter Saves Lives! - 2005-03-02
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